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“I had to paint it a long time ago.”


Music, which make you silent or sad and forget who you are and where you are.
Speech of people, wind’s whisper, woll,s song, mixed together. No, it is not romantic, it is peace and sympathy. Peace in you, with you and the rest of the world. To reach unreachеable.
And this girl, next to me. Or woman. No, she is not so grow up to be a woman, although she seems as an adult and she got trough many tears and pain.
With the most unbelievable blue eyes. Like the sea, in front of us.
Yes, I know that is so banality, sweet description, but the blue eyes always make me scared ,so I could not exaggerate it.
With boy’s way of walking and hair style, which make her wired charming and lady-like even. With big, male’s ,but beautiful hands. Too shy to admit what she wants and determined to get it. Loving to the others and indifferent to her own. Pessimist to her own future, but incredible optimist for the others dreams. With pale cheeks ,as two apples, started to be red under the sun. No make up, except if you can call “the sun-spots” make up.
And again I should admit that “the sun spots” are frequently used sweet description, but she has a lot sun spotsJThis is it! Almost as “PIPI LONG SOCKS(of Astrid Linger-do you remember that story)

And how she fall in love with that painting in that small antique shop, like she saw a ghost. She found it among a hundred paintings. She looked at all of them and just found it .It seemed that she knew what was looking for and the painting knew that it should be found by that girl.
WHY?
Naked girl, lying on the wooden floor, in a shape of a baby in the mother’s womb. Like she didn’t want to be born. You cannot see the face, because of the hand’s shadow ,but the floor it seems wet by the tears. The skin is transparent pale and you are afraid do not see the skeleton of the body. The whole figure radiates scare calmness and desired helplessness. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t need compassion. Only her hair is straggly lying on the floor in different directions.
The background in the room you can not define it. Like everything around the girl is careless dinged by the water colors and then carefully tided up. Only she is lying so perfect.
I can not took her away of the small shop . She predisposed herself to go behind the painting. To get into the water colors ,to get to the naked body, to be the blood in the veins ,the heart beаts, to be the thoughts in her mind.
She wanted the painting so much, to be her own forever. To save the girl, or herself?!
……………………..
We went back on the next day, but the small antique shop was closed.
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Our bus was going 10 minutes later.
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I couldn’t give her the panting.
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I gave her only the memory of it.


Vania